Until this morning, I owned this random lawn ornament that was a concrete angel. It was about 3 feet tall and ridiculously heavy.
I had owned this thing for about 10 years now. How I came about said angel is interesting.....
My aunt bought this angel, along with a Mary in a Grotto, and a lawn jockey (all concrete) for her house (that's out of town) around 1998. I was living in my same house then, and since the place she bought them from told her they would not ship the lawn ornaments, she had them delivered to my house. Her plan was to make arrangements to have then shipped to her.
Well, the years went on, and I all but lost contact with my aunt, and the ornaments were forgotten. Except for the rare occasions when I would wander to the far side of my house and see the statues leaning against the brick wall.
We considered them abandoned, and around 2003, my mother had a friend who wanted to buy a religious lawn ornament for her backyard. My mother told her that if she could get some guys to come over and move it, that they could have one of the ones that had been leaning again my house unbothered for the last 4 years. They came one Saturday, and it took 3 men, but they moved and took the grotto and Mary.
And then there were two.
Around 2005, I had a tree that was just on the property line between mine and my neighbor's yard. Apparently my neighbor believed that the tree roots were growing under her sidewalk along her house. So, she aked that I have the tree cut down. Well, I came home after the tree guys had done the job, and I saw the funniest site. The guys had taken it upon themselves, after they chopped down the tree and left the stomp, to move and place the angel on the stump for all to see. I didn't really enjoy this, since I did not like the idea of a religious symbol being in my yard, but it was too heavy to move, so I dealt with it for awhile, and eventually hardly noticed it. Besides, where it was placed, most people thought it was actually on my neighbor's yard. So there it stood....for years.
And then there was one.
Around 2007, despite my many objections (sidenote: I personally believe that the lawn jockey is politically incorrect, so I had already made the decision that it would never grace my yard where the public could see it). I found I had a spot in my newly landscaped backyard for the lawn jockey. It was a very hidden spot, that you you could only see if you were in my backyard. I even found a lantern to hang from it. I had some workmen move it into place, and all was well.
And then there was none....or so I thought.
Last year, the stump that the angel was sitting on began to crack, and I noticed that very slowly, the angel was starting to lean. Then a couple of months later, it fell over altogether. I really didn't care, so I just left it lying in the plants. But, apparently the dudes who cut my grass noticed it, and picked it up, and put it back in place. Only for it to fall again....and again....and again. It seems that every other week, I would see it laying face down, and then after the grass was cut, I would notice that it was standing again. This went on for about 6 months.
Well, during this time, I got a new neighbor. A young guy, who really wasn't the type to have a an angel in the front yard, and since most people thought it was on his property, he made a comment to me about it.
It was actually funny.....my neighbor was half joking, but he said that the angel bothered him. He felt that every time he came home drunk, he would see the angel staring at him, and he thought it was judging him. And it made him feel uncomfortable.
I told my neighbor that I never liked the stupid angel, and that as soon as I could find someone who wanted it and could move it, I was planning on giving it away. This conversation was in June of this year.
The finale of the concrete angel....
Well, last night, I came home about 10:30 pm, having been slightly over-served. I saw the angel. It had fallen over again. And that was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
I WAS DONE WITH THAT DAMN ANGEL.
I don't know what got into me, but I decided right then and there that I was not going to deal with that concrete relic again. I went inside and put on some tennis shoes and jeans. Then, I started to move the angel.
Easier said than done.
The thing weighed a ton! So here I was, not completely sober, out in the dark, and straining to move the item. I finally decided that the only way I was going to get it anywhere was to roll it...which I did. It was even hard to roll. I ran over my toe in the process, but I kept on.
Eventually I got it to the curb. It took a lot of grunting and strength I didn't know I had, but I was able to stand the angel up. My plan was to just leave it on the curb, and hope someone would come and take it.
That may sound weird, but the next day was recycle day, and in my neighborhood on that day or trash day, you can pretty much leave anything out you like, and the city will take it. Even appliances, furniture, etc. That leads to people driving around, and checking what's there, and helping themselves to what they want before the trash or recycle trucks come. So my thought was that someone would just come by and take it.
So I felt a sense of accomplishment, and I went inside. About 10 minutes later, two things occurred to me.
1. People might not think I meant for that angel to be trash, since I was not leaving any bags or anything out there as well.
2. Someone may try to take it, and not realize how heavy it was, and hurt themselves.
So, at this point it was about midnight, and I came up with a plan. I grabbed some paper and a maker, and made a sign that said
FREE ANGEL! MOVE AT YOUR OWN RISK. IT'S VERY HEAVY!
I took a roll of packing tape and the sign outside, and wrapped it around the cherub. I felt good.
Jump to this morning:
I woke up at 4:30AM for my 6:55 AM flight to Vegas, (damn you ticketing people in my office) and looked out the window to see if my angel was still there. And low, and behold, it was gone. I knew it wasn't going to last long, but I was in a little bit of shock that some random person took it between the hours of 12:30 AM and 4:30 AM on a Thursday morning!
So that is the story of the concrete angel lawn ornament. It is a saga that has spanned over 10 years. I hope that angel is now in a good home...excuse me, lawn, and is blessing, if you will, the abode of whoever happened upon it in the middle of the night.
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